Goodbye Las Vegas...

Dear Reader,

          I just have to say that saying goodbye is really hard, even when its only temporary. I have always hated goodbyes. Even the word goodbye upsets me. When I was little I used to cry like it was the end of the world every time I had to say goodbye, even if I knew I would see the person again the next day. So this past week I have spent time with my loved ones, but avoided saying that word as much as possible. But today it was unavoidable.
       

Thanks to my friend Angela for the photo :)

     
            Today was my last full day in the USA, for at least 3 months and I spent the day finally forcing myself to say goodbye. I said goodbye to my family who I know I will see again in 3 months. I also know that I might get horribly ill from being separated from them (homesickness is a real thing you guys). I said goodbye to my friends, one of whom is leaving on an LDS mission just a few weeks after I'm gone. All the goodbyes were really hard for me, even if I managed to keep up a tough face. But I have known for weeks that the most difficult goodbye would be saying goodbye to my primary kids.
            I have taught the 8 turning 9 year old primary class at church for the past year and today was my last day in this calling. Before I accepted this calling, I believed very strongly that I hated children and that I would never want to have any of my own. But after only a few weeks with my first class I realized that I loved them more than I had even known I could love anyone. I cried like a big baby when I had to say goodbye to my first class.
           Then I got my second class, who had a completely different dynamic and at first I thought I could never love them like I had loved the others. But once again I was very wrong. I have learned so much from those kids and I love them with all my heart. Every time they express admiration for me they make me want to be a better person, so that some how I can be worthy of all that they bring to my life.
           Today I taught them my final lesson, The Resurrection of Jesus Christ. I think it's fitting that I had this last opportunity to learn and teach about rebirth at a moment when my life is going to change so much and when the kids are going to be getting a new teacher. I know she is going to be a great teacher for them and I am so grateful for her. But please, please, please, someone keep me updated on how the kids are doing and keep an eye out for them while I'm not there.
          Because it was my last day I brought treats and we had a bit of fun as well. I had to make it a little fun or it would have just been a big crying fest. Not for the kids-- Just me. I've gone from hating kids to a mushy gushy ball of love who cries like a baby over saying goodbye to a few 9 year olds. But if you knew them like I do you couldn't blame me.  Teaching all of those kids really changed my life. They were a milestone for me. They brought out a side of me that loves nurturing and teaching, which was something about myself that I didn't even know existed. And though I will very much miss them, I do know that it's time to move on to the next milestone-- Germany.
           I won't be posting on here again until after I arrive in Germany. My flight to Newark, NJ leaves at 6:30am tomorrow, which means I'll be waking up in the early hours of the morning. Anytime before 10:00am is early for me truthfully, so if I get there at the ideal time (two hours before take off) it will be nothing short of a miracle. My flight from Newark to Hamburg leaves at 5:45pm. I'm not sure exactly what time I'm meant to arrive in Hamburg (most likely around 7:30 or 8am), but I do know that my cousin is meeting me at the train station. After that, you better believe that I will fight the jet lag like a glorious hero prepared for battle. Germany is 9 hours ahead of Las Vegas for anyone that's wondering, so I will be losing a day.
          Thank you to everyone that has helped me get to this point of my life. I love and appreciate all of you, and I will miss you. Friends- please take care of my family while I'm away. Family- please watch out for my friends while I'm away. Everyone- please make sure Vegas stays standing while I'm away. I may not love Las Vegas itself, but I sure do love some of its people and I have no idea what I'd do with out them.
   
     Love Always,
           The Wanderess

In Search of Progress

Dear Reader,

          In my first post I mentioned that I would be using this blog as a way of updating you on how I'm personally progressing toward my goals. I have a lot of goals and I'll probably come up with more later but for now there are three goals that I'm working toward accomplishing while I am in Germany.

     1. Inspiration
          While I am traveling and living in Europe I am hoping to find inspiration for two aspects of my life that are incredibly important to me.
          First, I hope to find inspiration for the next chapter in my life. I am not sure where I am supposed to go or what I am supposed to do beyond being a writer. And though this isn't a religious blog, I have a strong faith in a loving God, who I believe has a divine plan with infinite blessings in store for me. So given that this blog is all about me and my adventures I will talk about my spirituality from time to time. While I am traveling I am going to be doing everything I can to find out as much of this divine plan as I can. I'm going to be focusing a lot more on how I can make myself the type of person that I believe I am meant to be. And I am going to do that through my study of the scriptures and reflecting on this beautiful world that God created to try to find things that point to universal truths about life.
          Second, I hope to find inspiration for my writing. If that means I finish one of the novels I'm already working on or find a whole new story that is perfect for me to write, I don't really care. I have wanted to be an author for far too long and its high time I find my story. I will also be looking for inspiration for my blog posts. My new writing goal is really exciting for me because I plan to really accomplish something while I'm there. I'm searching for clarity and inspiration in my writing and in my life.
     2. Adventure
          I am obviously looking forward to all of the adventures I'm going to have while I'm in Germany and surrounding countries, but one thing I really want to work on while I'm there is learning not to allow fear to dictate what I do. When it comes to traveling I'm not too scared, but I'm afraid of just about everything else and I often let my fears override my desire to do fantastic things.  I struggle a lot with feelings of anxiety and inadequacy. I rarely enjoy social settings because I spend so much time worrying about doing something embarrassing and wondering what people are thinking of me. And yet I would really like to make friends. My goal is to learn how to be brave an never let fear stop me from accomplishing anything I want to do.
     3. Love
          No, I am not looking for romance. And I am certainly not looking for a man to "complete" me. That isn't what I mean by "love". Sorry if that disappoints you. My goal is to learn to have a more charitable and widespread love for all people and places. While in Germany I plan on really digging in deep to help others in ways that I know I can provide. I want to learn all about the culture, the places, and the people in Germany. I want to learn that love is not a weakness, that its sometimes okay to trust others with my heart. I want to make friends and build relationships, while learning what I can do to advocate to make society better as a whole. I'm looking for the kind of perfect love that brings peace and life into a world that is often dark and cruel. Who knows? Maybe I'll even find a love for Las Vegas while I'm at it.
          I believe that life is meant to be a constant progression. I don't think we are meant to sit still and stuck in our old ways. Life is about learning. I am letting go of things about myself that I would like to change, and learning to be the most perfect version of myself. I have spent my whole life dreaming of finding inspiration, going on adventures, and learning to love. It's time to make those dreams come true. I am wandering the world to become the person I've always dreamed of. Germany, I'm headed your way!

     Love Always,
          The Wanderess

   

The Queen of Clean

Dear Reader,

          I am terrible at cleaning and packing. Admittedly there are many things that I am terrible at, but those are the two things that make my adventuring lifestyle quite difficult. That's what highly organized sisters are for, right?

         This is my little sister. My self motivated, independent, beautiful sister is a efficiency machine that cannot be stopped. She is amazing and she drives me nuts. We are polar opposites in almost every way. She is focused. I am scatterbrained. She is motivated. I am a procrastinator. She is determined. And I don't see much of a point in doing anything I don't want to. Basically she is one of the greatest people you could ever meet and I am incredibly jealous and frequently irritated by her absolute perfection, but I love this girl.
         Over the past week she has been helping me turn my disaster of a bedroom into a usable space. My idea of cleaning my room has always been to dig a trench amongst my clothes and papers so that I can get from my bed to the door. And the gold star for the best idea ever goes to...
          Her idea of a clean room actually involves cleaning the room. Crazy right? So my amazing sister comes into my domain, crowns herself the Queen of the Clean, and starts giving me instructions on how this is to be done.
          "I want to do my desk first." The Wanderess says.
          "Look at the floor." The Queen of Clean responds. "Where are you going to put the stuff from the desk while you're organizing it?"
         *The Wanderess bows and waits for further instructions from her superior*
          And packing? Don't get me started on packing. I went to the UK and France for about a month earlier this year. Before I left this girl packed for me and did a brilliant job of it. I would have just opened my suitcase and poured in my buckets of clothes (yes, that's right I keep my clothing in unorganized plastic bins on a metal storage shelf). But the beautiful Queen of Clean waved her magical fairy wand and suddenly every piece of clothing I could possibly need for my journey was perfectly rolled up into my suitcase, with room for souvenirs to spare. It's definitely not that simple but she makes it look like a piece of cake.
          At the beginning of this week I tried to simply consider cleaning and packing for Germany on my own. That thought ended with me curled up in a ball in the bottom of my closet sobbing, while my sister, afraid for my sanity, called my dad to tell him about the mental breakdown her big sister was having over a pile of laundry.
         The day I started the blog I also tried once again to clean my room. I started laundry first. Laundry is the worst for me so I might as well get tacking the giant out of the way. Then I tried to make a list of things I need to take with me. That's simple enough right? Wrong. Panic took over and then it was Queen of Clean to the rescue!
         Basically the moral of the story is that even the amazing Wanderess is perfectly incapable of adventuring without the support of her sister, the Queen of Clean. A big thanks to that girl for helping me get all set and ready to go! I love her. She are certainly the best of us.

     Love Always,
           The Wanderess

Wanderess

Dear Reader,

          I am not much of a blogger. I've tried to do blogs before and I was never all that successful. That's because blogging is like journaling and nothing all that exciting had ever happened to me.
For those who don't know me very well I was born and raised in Las Vegas, Nevada. Before you ask, I didn't live in a hotel, my mother is not a cocktail waitress, and my dad is not a blackjack dealer. I grew up in a regular LDS family. I lived in a house, in a neighborhood called the Orchards, nestled up against the bottom of Sunrise mountain. My mom is an interior designer and my dad is a jack of all trades (DJ, Salesman, Audio Visual designer, etc.).
          I've had a blessed life in Las Vegas. I've been loved there and had plenty of comforts and privileges allotted to me.  But in my heart all I've ever wanted was an adventure. Instead of being comforted by the mountains surrounding the Las Vegas valley, I grew to feel trapped by them. Instead of seeing the view of the Strip as a reminder of home, I began to think of it as a place invented by Nevadans so that they could temporarily forget all about Nevada. Instead of being grateful at the lack of cold in the winter, I became bitter toward the constant dry heat.
          I blamed Las Vegas for keeping me safe and sound, from preventing my adventures. I turned toward the constant wandering that I could only experience in my overly fanciful mind for a source of entertainment. I became a deliriously daydreaming, whimsically wandering, avidly adventuring, story teller.
          Even as a child I made up fantastical stories to describe better and more exciting lives for myself and everyone I knew. In my imagination my mother comes from an ancient line of witches and my father was once viking who broke off from his family to live a life of piracy on his own. I have a fairy godmother who's husband and children are time traveling vampire slayers. My neighbors up the street are the friendly vegetarian vampires. And as I got older that story telling turned into an aspiration for novel writing. I take every opportunity that comes my way to get out of Las Vegas, even for a short amount of time. And everywhere I go I tell stories.
          In Las Vegas, I am the Supreme Overlord of the Universe, a being that was born in a small country off the coast of somewhere who is destined to rule the universe and bring balance to all its people.
          On the east coast visiting my cousins, I am a grown up who once flew to Neverland with Peter Pan and fought Captain Hook by his side. In Utah at college, I am the reincarnation of Maid Marian searching for Robin Hood, before the evil Sheriff of Nottingham can find him. In London, I was the queen and my traveling companions were members of my royal court. On a train between England and Scotland, I was a witch who could read people's futures in their palms and heal them with herbal potions. In Edinburgh, I was Lucy Westenra from Dracula, a silly woman with multiple suitors who is doomed to become a Vampire. In Paris and Versailles, I was a french royal who was disguised to blend in with my subjects and was attacked by Gypsies.
          Now, in reality, I am going on the adventure of a lifetime. I am moving to Germany for three months. I'm going to live with my cousin Tate. While I'm there, I am going to be working on my novels, but I've also decided to start this blog, which is going to be a blend of the fictions in my mind, the nonfiction that I'm living, and also updates on how I'm personally progressing in my goals.
          I hope that any of you with an interest in what I am seeing and experiencing will keep up with my blog and though I will miss all of you, I promise to return to you with stories of my grand adventures and the inspiring characters I meet along the way.

     Love Always,
          The Wanderess